"James while John had had had had had had had had had had had a better effect on the teacher"; it's a well known example of lexical ambiguity, meaningless as written but unambiguous punctuated as...mmm, maybe not yet - you'll have to indulge me, see answer below, no cheating, go on - test yourself. I had that rule, amongst others, taught to me at the age of 10 by the English teacher, Mrs Wilkinson(?); she enjoyed hitting us on our knuckles with a ruler and sending me to be caned by the headmaster for the incorrect use of English grammar consequently missing other lessons... DUH... apprehension results in incomprehension.
Caning me only reinforced my ethic of non violence eloquently paraphrased by Isaac Asimov as "Violence is the last resort of the incompetent": whilst deploring my primary schools method of controlling the populace I do applaud advocates teaching at least the basics of punctuation...whichever language; my mobile (cell in 'murican), a basic model, can use 99 languages, it's set to English (United Kingdom) not one of the other 14 English flavours offered from Australia to Zimbabwe, with 38 punctuation marks in each.
Consider, if you please, the following
phrase:"woman without her man is nothing" which a misogynist would mean "woman, without her man, is nothing" whereas to a misandrist it means "woman: without her, man is nothing"; self-contradictory meanings caused by introducing ',' & ',' or ':' & ',' ... it's not surprising that texts and tweets, often written in haste, are woefully misunderstood when ',' is on an alternate keyboard i.e. 4 keystrokes away from ':' ...relationships have evaporated with less cause. When I bought my £10 mobile last week I had to choose one of 14 English dialects from 99 language options then choose one of a myriad of messaging options just to text a 3 line query - it's not surprising time impoverished 'tweety birds', (close relatives of the 'tellychat', right) manage to mismanage communication so frequently.
['Have I got old news for you', hosted by Alistair Campbell, Ian Hislop and Paul Merton being supported by Nick Freeman and Ross Noble, exemplifies correct, devestatingly witty communication used to force AC, Tony Blair's Machiavellian spin doctor, into silence - by brilliant use of deadly repartee discombobulating a supposed master of the art - watch it if you can.]
My issue is with Alcatel & Nokia, Intel and Microsoft, respectively the cell infrastructure, chip and software manufacturers who cannot, apparently, create a mobile phone that knows: a. who I am, that's no secret - my name's on the EPS till receipt; b.where I am, that's no secret - I'm holding a GPS chipped mobile; and c. the language I use, that's no secret - I publish on social networks so why, even on the latest £500 4G phones, should any of us have to waste so much fffing time setting the phone up?
Come on guys, do some joined up thinking, perchance we need another Gates thinking 'outside the box'‽ My laptop tailors adverts to my location, language and politics and has done so for years - so guys ... go shrink a cookie - size isn't everything (tablets are for handbags).
The lexical answer? "James, while John had had "had", had had "had had"; "had had" had had a better effect on the teacher".
['Have I got old news for you', hosted by Alistair Campbell, Ian Hislop and Paul Merton being supported by Nick Freeman and Ross Noble, exemplifies correct, devestatingly witty communication used to force AC, Tony Blair's Machiavellian spin doctor, into silence - by brilliant use of deadly repartee discombobulating a supposed master of the art - watch it if you can.]
My issue is with Alcatel & Nokia, Intel and Microsoft, respectively the cell infrastructure, chip and software manufacturers who cannot, apparently, create a mobile phone that knows: a. who I am, that's no secret - my name's on the EPS till receipt; b.where I am, that's no secret - I'm holding a GPS chipped mobile; and c. the language I use, that's no secret - I publish on social networks so why, even on the latest £500 4G phones, should any of us have to waste so much fffing time setting the phone up?
Come on guys, do some joined up thinking, perchance we need another Gates thinking 'outside the box'‽ My laptop tailors adverts to my location, language and politics and has done so for years - so guys ... go shrink a cookie - size isn't everything (tablets are for handbags).
The lexical answer? "James, while John had had "had", had had "had had"; "had had" had had a better effect on the teacher".
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